Yakov's Gift of Laughter E-Newsletter 2-11-02
Hi, Friends:
Do you remember that children's song that says,
"Way down south in the land of bananas an ant
step on an elephants toe. The elephant cried with
tears in his eyes, why don't you pick on somebody
your own darn size." I'd like to share with you my
version of that song that happen to me during
the recent holidays.
Each Christmas, my kids and I like to celebrate by
giving something back to nature. So, this Christmas
we decided to set an iguana free. We were on a cruise
ship and when we stopped in Miami, we began our
search for the iguana.
It probably isn't as difficult a quest as I thought it was
but we looked through many pet shops and eventually
we found an iguana that was about twenty miles away.
Now we had to get two cabs because we were a party
of seven. Two hundred dollars later we had an iguana
that cost eight bucks.
My kids felt the Bahamas would be a good place for
an iguana to live. So we took the iguana on board
the ship, he stayed with us for a night in a nice suite,
and I guess he appreciated that.
The next morning we took a cab to find a place to
live in the Bahamas. The cab driver thought we had
escaped from a mental institution but he took us to a
luxurious golf course community. In his professional
opinion, this would make a good home for an iguana.
We decided to set the iguana free there. We went into
the woods and placed him on a tree. We took some
pictures and said good-bye to the iguana. We'd gotten
attached to him during the last 24 hours. It was at that
tender moment - music would have been playing in the
movies - that Alexander step into an ant farm.
He started screaming that the ants were biting him.
I'm saying, "Alexander it's no big deal, it's just ants,
they don't really bite." I'm trying to be macho and
teach him how strong men should be, so I stick my
hand into that colony of ants to show him that ants
just tickle. Well I guess they were ants with an attitude
because they were biting real hard. So now, two of us
are screaming with tears in our eyes, and now the iguana
is looking at us as if we escaped from the mental institution,
so he was happy to run away.
Natasha decided she wants to be adopted by
another family. I've decided being picked on
by ants is no laughing matter.
Your friend,
Yakov Smirnoff
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